Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Why So Quiet Elise?

I've had a few people ask me recently why I don't blog as much about the kids and other personal things. When I started my blog two and a half years ago, I was writing with a certain degree of anonymity. I didn't tell my friends and family, it was just something special for me. Husband knew of course, but mostly it was just a private little online community that I got to be part of.

Every person who ever stopped by my blog felt like a like minded friend. It didn't matter if you agreed with me or not, it didn't matter what you thought of me, the fact that you were reading meant that you cared and we were friends. Slowly, slowly I let my sisters in on it, and a close friend, but it was still my private little place with a controlled audience. My secret.

I could write just about anything. Anything at all. If there was something going on at work I didn't like, a family dispute, my kids were being a bit challenging, even just my opinions that I might not always share.

These days, the blog has a greater audience. Besides the bloggers and blog readers that might wander my way, there is a fairly extensive community of people in my real life who read. My mother. Cousins. Aunties. Colleagues. Preschool teachers, friends, even some of 13 year old Madeleine's friends are regular readers.

The article I did last June with Take 5 Magazine outed me to the world. There's alot of pleasure in having so many people that I care about reading my blog. I'm proud of my slice of the Internet, proud that I've been writing for two and half years with some degree of commitment, and proud that I have something to say that others seem to be interested in.

But it can also be tongue tying. How do I express a thought or feeling on my blog that I wouldn't discuss with my mother in real life? How do I write about the challenges of having a teenager, when that teenagers friends are reading? How do you have an anonymous venting of steam about a family issue, when the whole bloody family is listening?

The simple answer is you don't. It ties my tongue and I can't do it. So many of my blog posts are lighter and fluffier than they once might have been, and many are just focused on the personal finance side of my blog. Not to mention the selling my soul to the devil via sponsored posts (gasp! I accept payment to voice my opinion sometimes!).

So if I'm not giving you the nitty gritty anymore and you feel my blog is lacking for it, I apologise. Meanwhile, I'll keep writing within my comfort level and hope that there is something, sometimes, that appeals.

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