Saturday, March 15, 2014

Headspace...Can My Brain Be Any Fuller?

Why does Lorelei only wet her pants at home and not at preschool? If she jumps in muddy puddles that she personally created one more time I'm going to cry.

I feel sick when I login to the credit card iPhone app. It gets higher every time. I just need one fortnight where I pay more than we spend. Just one.

Bright side, Husband no longer has a black hole at the front of his mouth where a tooth used to be. It was an expensive hole to fill though.

I can't sleep properly while Sebastian is sick. I'm terrified he will choke, if not on the mucus that closes up his throat, then on the vomit that he brings up with the mucus. Maybe I should bring him back into our bed for the winter. I stress all night that he is cold, and he is, and if this winter is anything like the last he's never going to quite be healthy.

Can I justify a little holiday this Easter? We always take the kids away twice a year, but part of me screams that there should be zero unnecessary expenditure while the credit card is out of control, while the other whispers that a break together means so much to everyone.

Why do I need to sleep so much? My house would be clean, well, cleaner, if I could get by on say, 2, 3 hours a night. Sleep seems like so much wasted time.

I've secured myself a permanent role in the IT department at work. After doing some massive hours these last 2 months, evenings, weekends, everyone assures me this only happens right at this junction of a project but I can't help wondering if I have jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. Permanent work vs redundancy.  Well, I chose my path, who knows where it will go.

My 10 year anniversary came and went in the office very quietly. This was a day I have dreamt of my whole working life, it's one of those emotional milestones for me that I idealised. I expected more fanfare somehow. Kind of like I hope to get a gold watch when I finally finish one day after 10. Ill ion years of valued service. I have a feeling that won't happen. Does that even still happen?

On a final note, I never realised what a favour our old preschool would do for us. The only "artwork" I ever laid eyes on were special pieces that had been mounted for wall display or carefully selected for their end of year portfolio's. This new place sends home 2-3 random pieces of old computer paper daily that has been embellished by my children in various mediums. It's only been a month and I already have a boxful. Surely there is a special place in hell reserved for mothers that throw away children's artwork?

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