Thursday, February 20, 2014

A Slide By Visit to Hospital

I landed in hospital again this week. Out of nowhere, minding my own business, suddenly the tummy pains started again.
So once again I was being checked in via Emergency, to deal with this latest symptom of my Crohn's disease, which is apparently not in remission as hoped.

All was not lost though. For the first time I whipped out my private health insurance and checked in as a private patient. 

A cheerful nurse read me out my benefits like it was a 5 start hotel I was checking into.

"If there is an excess, because you were admitted by Emergency the hospital will cover the cost. A newspaper will be delivered to your room each day, just let us know which one. If there is a private room available in your ward, you will be assigned a private room. You will be given a $4 voucher for the cafe each day for yourself or a relative. If your room has a TV it will be activated at no charge."

Um seriously? Hang on, maybe a night in hospital isn't too bad after all. You're going to deliver me 3 meals a day, I don't have to fight for a remote (normally I'm too much of a tight arse to pay for hospital TV), I'll get a room all to myself......OK, sold. A night in hospital was definitely doable. I blissfully kissed husband goodbye, enjoying both the effects of the morphine I had been plugged with, and the thoughts of fruits to come.

As I was wheeled off to my room, my ward nurse administered the rest of the news.

"You're going to be NIL by mouth, so no meals for the next 24 hours while we prep you for surgery. (For every one's sake I'm leaving out the details of the prep). Unfortunately our private rooms are being used for quarantined patients at the moment so you're being put with a lovely group of women."

As she wheeled me into my room, she handed me my first newspaper and $4 voucher.

"Oh, all our TVs were removed last month due to the change from analog to digital, we're just waiting for a new contract to be signed".

Wait, what? No dinner, no TV, but I get some lovely company and a newspaper? I took in my room mates for the next 24 hours. I kid you not, the combined room age would have been over 300. Not including me.

All 3 had dementia, and lovely though they genuinely were, there were only so many times I could have the same conversation. 

Yes, I have 3 beautiful children. No, I don't have any grandchildren yet. Well yes, I'm sure I will one day, but no, my oldest isn't really thinking about it yet. Yes, poor me, no grandkids.

Hallelujah I'm home again. But I will be back. The procedure yesterday has unfortunately just underscored that there is more investigation needed, and possibly more repair work. Fingers crossed all round that this time we can beat this Crohn's Disease into remission.


  1. I know it's no laughing matter but I seriously lol'd at your private patient care. back to being a peasant for you

  2. lol The lack of TV is what broke me. After a 7 week stretch in hospital without a TV, the idea of getting it for free for a night was so exciting. Plus side, I get to claim $50 back from the health insurer because I didn't get a private room! All is not lost!

  3. How frustrating!! I had a private room when I was pregnant in the public hospital it was amazing!

  4. Oh dear I hope you are feeling better anyway .
    I spent 5 days in a private hospital last week it cost my health fund a fortune (not including my Drs' bills that are jaw dropping).
    I think I know what hospital you are talking about my Dad was a patient and got those perks plus parking voucher for mum. He didn't always get a private room.
    PS - Your photo for DP are gorgeous .


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