Thursday, January 2, 2014

What Does 2014 Look Like?

I'm not making big, strict, formal resolutions this year. Normally I set clear financial and family goals, designed to see us through a 12 month period. Those goals are usually career related, budget, investments, child development, travel, everything really, and they are so mapped out and specific.

This year though sees us in a period of uncertainty.

Uncertain about my employment with a finance company that can't quite seem to find an Elise sized hole to fit me into upon my return from maternity leave.

Uncertain about whether we have the financial stability to buy another house, home or investment.

Uncertain about what hours I will end up working, how that affects the kids routines and commitments, and how we juggle our responsibilities as a family.

The real world starts for me again on Monday. I go back full time to my seconded job in IT, a loaner, a learner, and because of it all, a bit of a loner. 10 years with one company and I still sit quietly by myself for lunch most days. When I am settled in a division I make deeper ties, but right now I am at a loose end, friendly but not friends. It's lonely. And to be honest, having so many people putting effort into not having me work for them is making me feel very unsure of myself, a little valueless. I want to focus on this opportunity I have in IT, because it's something I always wanted, but the way it came about does not inspire confidence. It almost feels like I was thrown a bone, as though it was recognised that without this lifeline I may not still be employed.

The babies start 3 days of preschool, up from their prior 1 day. Lolly used to go full time back in the days pre-Sebastian so I know she will be fine, but I'm not sure about Seb. He hates it when I leave him there, but I really hope being there more days will give him a better chance to bond with his teachers.

My goals this year are simple.

Regain my career, whatever that means. March sees the end of my secondment and I will settle myself somehow. Come what may, employment or redundancy, I will take what comes and make something new of it. Maybe I have a future with IT? Maybe I will get my old job back as Team Manager, form new relationships and learn new products, maybe the time has come that my company will say good bye to me. Who knows? But this years goal is to define that somehow.

Reclaim my evenings. Lorelei can take me 2 hours or more each night to put to bed, there is no time each night for me to unwind, blog, do the dishes or prepare for the next day. By the time I'm finished with her, all I want to do is collapse in bed. Sleep re-training is in order, and I fully intend to be sitting down with my husband for the occasional TV program in the evening this year.

That's all. Later in the year I will revisit financial goals and everything that entails, but for now these are the only things that feel like they matter. If I can get these back in order maybe my life will feel back on track.

Do you bother with goals or resolutions? 

2 comments:

  1. I always write resolutions and a plan for the year but this new years eve I struggled. We have major changes this year in our family and so much uncertainty. It is hard to put plans in place. I hope you work situation improves it sucks to be in limbo.

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