Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Story Of My Life These Days

I promised myself I was not going to regale the Internet with stories of toilet training. There is nothing worse than the oversharenting that happens on a blog when the bloggers life gets consumed by the bowel movement s of their toddlers (in my opinion anyway!)

But.

Here's the thing.

It is consuming my life, and there is so much hilarity to be had, that I'm going to share one of my recent days anyway. Despite not wanting to oversharent. But there will be no pictures. I draw the line at pictures.

Warning. There may be poop.

Until a few weeks ago we were a doors shut kind of household. If I didn't want a baby in the room, the door was shut. It kept the babies and non-baby appropriate items safe from one another. This most definitely included the toilet and bathroom. A whole lot of effort went into teaching the then 10 year old to start shutting doors.

These days with 2 year old Lolly toilet training, I have to leave the toilet door open. Even though I try to be on hand each time she makes use of the room a closed door can be the difference between success and a puddle on the floor in front of the door.

When I heard 1 year old Sebastian yelling for help a few days ago I ran. Straight to the bathroom, because the kid has an obsession with the shower. Not there. No, he was next door in the toilet room, bum and legs in the air, kicking, with his head face down in the toilet.

Fortunately his head wasn't submerged in the toilet, he was actually rocking (planking style) on the edge of the toilet seat, unable to get a grip with either his hands or his too short legs to leverage in either direction. The yells were loud and he was quite indignant when I rescued him only to remove him from the scene of the crime. It was one thing for me to save him from drowning, another thing to prevent him from playing with the water at the bottom of the loo.

Settling him in his high chair next to me I continued with the dishes. Lorelei was occupied in her bedroom, and didn't make her usual loud announcement that there was anything else happening. Until I saw a little face peeping around the hall.

"Mumma, tum quick, it's disgusting!" Oh god help me.

Running down the hallway found a lovely big dump waiting for me in front of the toilet. A squished one. With little, brown coloured footprints down the hall way and back again. Ignoring the urge to let it fester for several hours till Daddy got home, I donned my toilet glove and picked up our treasure. Only to find before I could pop it in the toilet that the toilet was filled with a handful of the tiny, hard, My Little Ponies.

Aaargh. And of course only 1 hand was gloved and that hand was holding a TURD so my options were.....? Right, the ungloved hand went into the toilet to excavate it of anything plastic before disposing of my treasure.

FFS.

My hand has been sterilised using everything in the house short of alcohol but the ponies went by way of the bin.

And don't talk to me about using a potty instead so the toilet door can remain shut. Having a receptacle around the house on the floor that at any moment could be filled with wee or poop and abandoned is not a good idea with a crawler/climber on the loose. 

2 comments:

  1. hey nice post mehn. I love your style of blogging here. The way you writes reminds me of an equally interesting post that I read some time ago on Daniel Uyi's blog titled The Truth About Positive Thinking .
    keep up the good work.

    Regards

    ReplyDelete
  2. If it is any help I found toilet training REALLY hard! The books that say it takes 3 days should be burnt!

    ReplyDelete

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