Friday, September 27, 2013

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

More than one person, including the subject matter herself, has commented on Madeleine's absence from the blog lately.

This is because she is 12.

12 is hard work. 12 is confusing, hormonal and temperamental. 12 knows everything and is willing to fight tooth and nail to prove, in fact, that despite 20 years more life experience, Mothers know crap all.

We think life has finally caught up with our 12 year old, and slapped her hard with some doses of reality. Going from only child for 10 years to having 2 baby siblings. Having mum be really sick for the last 3 years, with the last 12 months in hospital all the time, moving up in the world to high school, changing houses, twice in 2013 after a lifetime in the same house......reality.

And so we give her space to be 12. Space to learn, grow, mature, make mistakes, be obnoxious, love us, hate us, say no (oh that word comes so easily these days), remember how to say yes, and basically reinvent herself.

The control freak in me is dying, a slow, drawn out, and painful death. I can't manage this process for her, as she figures out who she is and where the new her fits into our family. I can, however, protect her from herself by not sharing the worst details on my blog. One day we will look back and I have a feeling the teenager fighting to be released will be appalled by her 12 year old antics. And so she doesn't need those antics to be a matter of public record, accessible by possible boyfriends, potential employer's, friends, teachers, family.

For now, absence will just have to make the heart grow fonder. 


  1. I have a 12 year old in the house as well. #thatisall

    1. lol that says everything. *Sigh* I just hope my parenting skills are up to it

  2. Hmmm, I remember 12. Not looking forward to seeing it again with my own daughter!! It's lovely the way you have acknowledged her, and let her be herself. Have fun :-) Cheers, Alison

    1. Thanks Alison. I worry that too much of their lives on the internet takes away their option to move on eventually, so for now I think she needs privacy


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