Friday, May 10, 2013

The Mash Up

Those of you following on Facebook or Twitter may have noticed the numerous attempts at mashed potato in the last week.

Despite trying repeatedly over the years I have never been able to produce edible mash. That doesn't mean I haven't made the family eat my productions. They've eaten lumpy mash, crunchy mash, runny mash, slimy mash, but never smooth and creamy mash.

Husband can produce a perfect mash every time. Smug bastard. So it tends to fall to him to make the mash for a meal, I just prepare before he gets home from work by peeling and chopping the potato's. 

Hehe. While mashing, my Breville AIO turned it
into squiggly worms. I had to take a photo
When I was gifted the new Breville All In One, I was determined to master the mash. End of story. No more terrible mash.

Effort number one was a fail. I followed the recipe in the booklet that came with the machine and turned out perfectly liquid mash. 

Effort number two was also a fail. I read all the tips I was given on twitter (thanks Lisa!) and Facebook and in person by people who had read my efforts and found them hysterical. I was prepared. I peeled the potato's. I chopped the potato's. I placed potato's in a pot. I scolded Husband when I discovered him stirring my potato's. I chucked a tantrum when I realised he had moved them to a different pot because he felt my pot was too small and he didn't want a repeat of the previous nights failure. Husband ended up taking over the whole process and turned out perfect mash. I repeat. Smug. Bastard.

Effort number three however, was a perfect, delicious, creamy, smooth mash. No one has ever made mash this good. I swear.

My tips for turning out the perfect mash?

1. Plan to cook them when bastard Husband isn't home
2. Influence the babies feed times so he will be asleep during feral hour for once
3. Start cooking them BEFORE feral hour starts
4. Have a bowl of snacks ready to toss into the ferals seagulls toddler's mouth every time she comes near you while preparing your perfect mash
5. Restrict TV time all day then produce 30 minutes of Peppa Pig during cooking time
6. Ignore the recipe. You will never get the ratio's right. 6 potato's? Big? Little? Medium? Who knows.
6. Shake drained potato's over the hot plate again to dry out the excess moisture
7. Put the milk in AFTER you have mashed the potato's and combined the butter. Add a little at a time till you are happy with the consistency. Don't add the whole recipe recommended amount all at once since you may not need it all.

Creamy, smooth, yummy mash. Would you like some roast
beef with that mash?
Voila. Perfect mash. So ner Bastard Unbeliever Husband.

So now I have mastered the perfect mash, I will be turning my attentions to making a perfect cake. And not from a packet mix. That's how confident I'm feeling.

Do you have something you just can't produce in the kitchen? Unbelievers in your household?

1 comment:

  1. I admire your conviction to achieve the perfect mash Elise!

    I have one more tip for you - you can make it ahead and reheat it in the microwave with a dribble of milk and butter (if you're feeling decadent). It's what we did in the restaurant I worked at and I continue to do this at home (especially on those rare occasions that we have a grown up dinner party!)


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