Friday, May 31, 2013

FFS Friday: 15 Seconds of Fame

Head over to Dear Baby G for more FFS goodness

I was interviewed by Channel Nine yesterday for an upcoming segment on the proposed government maternity leave schemes.

The house was spotless, I was made up like no-ones business, and running on time. The idea was to film me first at my weekly Gymbaroo class with Sebastian, then follow me home for more goodness with all my kids.

Upon walking out the front door I stacked it and put a rip in my new pants FFS

Sebastian was sheltered by me, and screamed only in fright. NO FFS

I twisted my ankle, and had to hobble up the 20 stairs to Gymbaroo FFS

I made it in plenty of time to feed Seb before class though, and watched as all the other mums turned up looking distinctly more glamorous than usual. Our room contained more makeup than a Revlon factory lol.

Every time they turned the camera on Seb he would vomit cheerfully for them FFS

His shining moment of fun and gurgles and NO vomiting they had left the room to film someone else FFS

I picked up Lolly from daycare and raced home in the hopes of changing her into clean clothes and straightening up her hair before the film crew arrived after taking a bit of a break. They were waiting when I got home. She looks distinctly grotty and snotty for this shoot. FFS

I bought pretty new cushions for my front kid-free living to brighten it up and make it look nicer. They filmed in the back kid room instead FFS

I bought a pretty pinkish/tannish scarf/cowl neck thingie to brighten up me, since I planned to wear my usual uniform of black on black. By the time I did a whole Gymbaroo class in it I was hot, itchy, and sweaty. I took it off, and forgot to put it back on for the interview. Got any blacker? FFS

Instead of crashing for his usual big sleep following a Gymbaroo class, Seb stayed awake and grizzly through the interview and ended up demanding his next bottle early. FFS

Lorelei turned into the shyest, most uncooperative toddler you can possibly imagine when the time came to film her. She kept turning her back on the camera, and doing the opposite of what she could hear them saying they were about to film her doing. FFS

Despite my cleaning the house so that it resembled a display home, they moved a couch out of the way to make room and uncovered a years worth of grime and debre. I've only lived here 5 weeks. FFS

We went over the road to the park, because I assured the crew they would get some awesome Lorelei shots of her climbing like a monkey. She took off for the top of the structure and started to climb down, took one look at the camera and called out "mum, help! I'm stuck!" After they abandoned their efforts to film her, she clambered down in 2 seconds without help. FFS

I threw Seb over my shoulder so they could zoom in on him. You guessed it, he puked. FFS

It wasn't too bad though, all in all. I'm sure they will be able to salvage 20 seconds of decent sound bites, although the camera man assured me he could also pull together an outtake reel of Seb puking. Sigh.

Have you had your 15 seconds of fame? Did it go more smoothly than mine?


  1. At least you can look back on it and laugh right?
    My 15 seconds of fame was when I was in my final year of primary school and had to do a talk in front of the whole school when the local TV crew flew in for a visit. I was talking about the different varieties of Banksias and had memorised the first part of my speech so well I didn't even have palm cards for it.

    Unfortunately when the camera was shoved in my face I went completely blank and I must have turned the colour of beetroot because I had to admit to everyone that I couldn't remember what to say. Luckily my best friend had heard me practise it so many times she jogged my memory and once I was able to read off palm card I virtually read the whole lot as I was so scared by the camera and so embarrassed by the whole thing.
    I decided that public speaking wasn't really my thing!

    1. Naw its even worse when it happens to a kid, so mortifying. Thank goodness for good friends xx

  2. Too funny!! When is the story on, I will make sure to watch!!

    1. Not sure yet, but you can be sure that I will broadcast it to the world as soon as they let me know!

  3. Oh my god, I have tears running down my cheeks - TOO FUNNY!! or not funny???? DOn't you just love how things never ever go as we've planned?? I guess thats the beauty of it though. ANd you need a glass of wine in hand and kids in bed before you can appreciate the funny side xxx

    1. You know they say never to work with kids....I should have listened


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