Monday, November 5, 2012

Tedium and Soup

I'm still in hospital. It's been a week since the the world went black and my body decided it was time to deal with my health problems.
Every morning at 6am the curtains are ripped back, the fluerescent lights are flicked on, and 2 nurses barge into the room shrieking "good morning! Zumba time!" Which they both think is hysterical. It's not.
And every morning I look at the clock and start the count till bedtime which will scratch another day off my hard time.
The tedium is barely broken by the arrival of the meal cart, with its endless variety of soup which is all the doctors will authorise me to eat.
I wait. Blood is taken. I wait. A meal is served. I wait. Husband drops in for a brief visit with fresh knickers on his way home from work. I don't have the heart to keep him here long when he visits because I can see that the night time feeds, a tantrummy toddler, and a sulky preteen are all starting to get to him so I let him go so he might have some chance at sleep. I wait.....
I don't know how people in long term hospital stay cope. At least I know there is an end in sight, even if I don't know when it is.
I think it's the purposelessness of my day that's the worst. I don't accomplish anything. Watching tv and reading books is only pleasurable when it's sandwiched in between feeding and caring for my kids, maybe a load of washing, that kind of thing. I never realised how much you need meaningful activity in your day to make the leisure activities pleasurable.
Hopefully not too much longer. I'll have another scan tomorrow and a consultation with my doctor in the afternoon so who knows what will happen next?
Ever been so bored you can feel your brain melt? Do share.

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