Tuesday, May 8, 2012

10 fingers and 10 toes....

Tomorrow is the day. THE DAY. The Ultrasound. I've been so busy these last couple of months, that I haven't really given myself time to be pregnant, and when I stop to think about it I feel so guilty.
By 18 weeks pregnant with Lorelei, I had been obsessively monitoring the Huggies website to keep track of how big my wee bubba was, and whether she had arms, legs etc. I'd been for 3 GP appointments, 2 Ultrasounds, 2 hospital appointments, and had my third booked in. And preparation, wow. I could have had the baby already and not found myself short of anything that was needed.
Um. With this poor little bundle of goodness, I pee'd on a stick. Eventually I got around to getting a doctor to confirm the obvious. And I've since been for a hospital appointment. Just one. And I haven't had time to book another.
So tomorrow I will head off for an ultrasound (my first) and reassure myself that there are the right amount of heartbeats, fingers, toes, heads, and suss out the gender while I'm at it. Its not that I care less with this wee one, but I don't have time to be pregnant right now.
I don't even know what gender I am rooting for. I'd like to be completely unbiased and say I don't care, but I think I do. Of course the main prize is a healthy baby, but I think maybe I'd like a third girl. I'm not sure how I feel about having a son.
Everyone says boys are so much easier, and they are so loving with their mummies but I really enjoy girls. I don't know what I'd do with a boy. I grew up in an all female household, and having a husband has not really changed my living conditions (thank you multiple bathrooms!).
Am I a terrible mother? People seem to either assume I want a boy, or assume that I just want a healthy baby, but no-one seems to think its a valid position to maybe want a third girl.
Maybe its a good thing I haven't had time to invest mentally in this pregnancy yet. I haven't really had a chance to fixate on anything, so whatever I get will be nice.
Wish me luck for 10 fingers tomorrow!

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